Wednesday, November 9, 2011

To be Honest....

I’m beginning to realize how many challenges I have to overcome to be a missionary.  First of all, I am a young, single girl.  I cannot go anywhere or do anything on my own.  I am completely dependent on other people for protection, transportation, etc.  This is somewhat frustrating to me, because I like to be independent.  But I’ll get over that frustration – the real problem is that doing ministry becomes a little harder since I can’t go anywhere on my own to figure out where I can serve.

The second challenge is that I worry too much and I am afraid of many things.  So far, the trip has been easier than I expected, and there have not been many challenges.  But I know that I will have to face many fears while I am here, and if I want to serve the Lord with my whole heart I cannot cower away from things I do not like.  Luckily, I have noticed that I tend to be less anxious when I am focused on God more than myself.  If I continue doing His will and putting Him first, I know that I will be able to face anything.

The third major challenge is myself.  I know that missionaries are not perfect, but I struggle with so many things that I feel missionaries should not be tempted by.  I am impatient, but I need to be patient and wait on God to tell me what He wants me to do.  I am a control freak, but there’s no way this trip will be successful unless I let God have control.  I get angry easily, but I am here to show compassion to people.  My faith in God is weak, but it is impossible to be an effective missionary without a strong faith.  I have so much to learn!

Maybe that’s what this waiting period has about: learning.  I have been frustrated that it has taken so long to get settled in and begin full-time ministry, but I have realized that God has so many things to show me while I wait.  This is a time for me to get my heart right before I endeavor to lead people to Him.

So here’s how you can pray for me:  Pray that I’ll get over the selfishness of my frustrations.  Pray that God will give me the courage to face things that I am afraid of.  And finally, pray that God will make His will apparent to me as I continue to find ways that I can serve Him.

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